Children’s Nighttime Fears — A Specialist’s Guide for Parents
Nighttime fears are one of my main areas of clinical work and research. I have published peer-reviewed studies on the assessment and short-term treatment of nighttime fears in preschool and school-age children, and have written several books for parents and children on the subject. The page below is the practical, evidence-based summary of what works.
What are children’s nighttime fears?
Nighttime fears are common, normal, and developmentally expected — particularly between the ages of 3 and 8. Children may fear the dark, monsters or ghosts, intruders, being alone, animals, or simply the imagined possibility that “something bad will happen”. The fears are real to the child even when the content sounds fantastical to an adult.
Most nighttime fears are mild and pass with reassurance and time. But for a substantial minority of children, the fears become entrenched: they refuse to fall asleep alone, demand that a parent stays in the room, fall asleep only in the parents’ bed, or wake repeatedly during the night looking for company. At this point the fears begin to drive insomnia, dependence, and considerable family stress — and benefit from active treatment.
Common causes
- Developmental imagination. As children’s imagination grows, so does their capacity to imagine frightening possibilities.
- Anxiety predisposition. Children prone to anxiety more generally are more likely to develop persistent nighttime fears.
- Family changes or stress. Moves, new siblings, parental separation, illness in the family.
- Exposure to frightening content. Films, news clips, books, video games, or older siblings’ content.
- Existing parental dependency. Children who fall asleep with a parent present often develop nighttime fears more readily, because they have not built the experience of feeling safe alone in their bed.
Why parental responses matter so much
Almost every parent of a fearful child does what feels natural and loving — comforting, lying with them until they fall asleep, leaving the door wide open, allowing the child into the parental bed. This is entirely understandable, but it can paradoxically maintain the fears. The child learns: “I cannot manage this fear without my parent.” The next night, the fear returns more strongly.
Effective treatment is not about leaving a frightened child alone in the dark. It is about building, in small steps, the experience of feeling safe alone — so the child becomes the source of their own safety, not just dependent on the parent’s presence.
What works — evidence-based treatment
Treatment is short-term, age-appropriate CBT. It typically combines:
- Psychoeducation — helping the child understand fear, in a way that fits their age, with stories, drawings, or characters.
- Building the child’s sense of competence and control — concrete coping tools the child uses themselves at night.
- Gradual fading of parental presence — moving from “parent in the bed” to “parent on the chair” to “parent at the door” to “parent calls in” — at the child’s pace, with success at each step.
- A reward system for the small, brave steps — celebrating effort, not just outcome.
- Imagery techniques for older children — including rewriting frightening images and rehearsing positive ones.
- Consistent and calm parental responses — the most powerful single ingredient.
Most children improve substantially within 4–6 weeks of beginning treatment.
When to seek professional help
- Fears persist for more than a few months and are not improving
- The child cannot fall asleep without a parent in the room or in the bed
- The fears are spilling into daytime — the child is anxious during the day, refuses sleepovers, or is reluctant to be alone in any room
- Parents are exhausted and the situation is straining the family
- The fears appear alongside other signs of anxiety or worry
Books on nighttime fears by Dr. Kushnir
Several of my books, written for parents and for children, address nighttime fears directly:
- Children and Parents Beating Nighttime Fears: A Parent’s Guide
- Naomi the Nighttime Hero: Kids and Parents Beating Night Time Fears
- Naomi and the Secrets of Going to Sleep
- Naomi Says Goodbye to Nightmares
- Benny Goes to Bed by Himself