It’s 1am and your child is sitting bolt upright, eyes open, screaming – but somehow not really “awake”. Or perhaps they’ve padded into your room in tears, describing a dream about a monster under the bed. Both moments are frightening for parents, but they are not the same thing, and they don’t call for the same response.
Understanding the difference between night terrors vs nightmares can save you a great deal of worry at 2am, and help you respond in the way that actually helps your child. Below, we walk through what each one looks like, why they happen, and when disrupted sleep is worth getting professional support for.
What’s the difference between night terrors and nightmares?
The two are often confused because both involve a distressed child in the middle of the night, but they come from different stages of sleep and look quite different in practice.
- Nightmares happen during REM (dream) sleep, usually in the second half of the night. Your child wakes up fully, is often frightened, and can typically describe what the dream was about. They will usually want comfort and may struggle to settle back to sleep.
- Night terrors happen during deep, non-REM sleep, usually in the first third of the night. Your child may sit up, scream, thrash about, or appear terrified, with their eyes open – but they are not truly awake. They won’t respond normally to your voice, and in the morning they usually have no memory of it at all.
A useful rule of thumb: if your child remembers a scary dream the next day, it was almost certainly a nightmare. If they have no memory of an episode that looked distressing to you, it was most likely a night terror.
Why do night terrors happen?
Night terrors are a type of parasomnia – essentially, a partial arousal from deep sleep that gets “stuck” between sleep stages. They are extremely common, particularly in toddlers and young children, and are not usually a sign of anxiety, trauma, or an underlying psychological problem.
Common triggers include:
- Overtiredness or an irregular sleep schedule
- A full bladder or the need for the toilet
- Illness, fever, or a blocked nose
- A change in routine (holidays, moving house, starting school)
- A family history of night terrors or sleepwalking
Night terrors are most frequent between the ages of 2 and 8, with some research suggesting prevalence peaks around 18 months, when more than a third of toddlers experience at least one episode. Most children grow out of them naturally as their sleep architecture matures, and many have just a handful of episodes in their whole childhood.
Why do nightmares happen?
Nightmares are far more common than night terrors – by some estimates, up to half of young children have nightmares that are frequent enough to wake a parent. They tend to become more common as children’s imaginations develop, roughly from age 3 or 4 onwards, and often cluster around specific worries: starting nursery or school, a scary film or story, a change at home, or general anxiety.
Occasional nightmares are a completely normal part of childhood development. Frequent nightmares – several times a week, over a period of weeks – are more often linked to daytime stress, anxiety, or (in some cases) an irregular sleep routine, and are worth paying closer attention to.
How to respond during an episode
Because night terrors and nightmares are so different, the best response to each is different too.
During a night terror:
- Stay calm – it looks alarming, but your child is not in danger and is not “having a nightmare” in the way it appears
- Don’t try to wake them fully; this can prolong the episode or cause confusion
- Keep them safe (move objects out of the way, guide them gently if they’re moving around)
- Simply wait nearby until it passes, usually within a few minutes, then let them settle back to sleep
After a nightmare:
- Comfort your child – they are genuinely frightened and fully aware
- Let them talk about the dream briefly if they want to, without dwelling on frightening details
- Use a consistent, reassuring routine to help them settle back down (a nightlight, a favourite toy, calm words)
- Avoid bringing them into your bed as a long-term habit, as this can make future nights harder to manage
Could disrupted sleep be linked to other issues?
Overtiredness and fragmented sleep don’t just increase night terrors – they can also affect a child’s bladder control overnight. Deep, hard-to-rouse sleep is one of the main reasons some children don’t wake to a full bladder, which is part of why bedwetting and sleep disruption often show up in the same families. If your child is dealing with both broken sleep and bedwetting, it’s worth looking at each separately rather than assuming one will resolve the other. Our guide on how to stop bedwetting is a good place to start if wet nights are also a concern, and if you’re ready to explore support, structured bedwetting treatment can help most children reach dry nights within a matter of months.
When to seek professional help
Most night terrors and nightmares don’t need medical treatment – they settle with time, a solid bedtime routine, and reassurance. However, it’s worth speaking to your GP or a sleep specialist if:
- Episodes happen most nights, or several times in one night
- Night terrors start for the first time after age 5, or continue into the teenage years
- Your child seems anxious, withdrawn, or unusually tired during the day
- Nightmares are frequent, distressing, and linked to a specific fear or event
- You’re worried about safety during episodes (for example, if your child leaves the bedroom)
You can read more detail on each topic in our dedicated guides to night terrors and nightmares in children, and our page on children’s nighttime fears if worry about the dark or being alone is part of the picture.
The bottom line for worried parents
Night terrors and nightmares can both be unsettling to witness, but they are two very different experiences for your child, and neither is usually a sign that something is seriously wrong. A predictable bedtime routine, enough sleep, and calm, consistent responses at night go a long way for most families. If sleep problems are persistent, or overlapping with other concerns like bedwetting, it’s worth getting a clearer picture rather than guessing.
If you’d like an experienced eye on what’s happening in your house at night, our team is here to help – see our guide to bedwetting alarms if bedwetting is part of the picture, browse our FAQ for common questions, or get in touch directly.
Frequently asked questions
What is the main difference between night terrors and nightmares?
Nightmares happen during dream (REM) sleep and are remembered the next day, while night terrors happen during deep non-REM sleep and are not remembered at all. A child having a night terror looks distressed but is not actually awake, whereas a child after a nightmare wakes fully and can describe what frightened them.
Should I wake my child during a night terror?
No. It’s best not to try to fully wake a child during a night terror, as this can prolong the episode or leave them confused and disoriented. Instead, stay calm, keep them safe, and wait nearby until it passes naturally, usually within a few minutes.
At what age do night terrors and nightmares usually stop?
Night terrors are most common between roughly 2 and 8 years old and usually fade as children get older, often by age 10. Nightmares can happen at any age but tend to become less frequent as children develop better coping skills and a settled sleep routine, though occasional nightmares are normal throughout childhood.
Can poor sleep from night terrors affect bedwetting too?
Yes, in some children the same deep, hard-to-rouse sleep that contributes to night terrors can also make it harder for them to wake to a full bladder overnight. If your child experiences both disrupted sleep and bedwetting, it’s worth addressing each issue with its own approach rather than expecting one to resolve the other.